my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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