Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
