let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
