thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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