i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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