what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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