You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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