I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize