I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
