You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
