guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
