we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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