Where are you?
In a non slutty way
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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