Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
