Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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