weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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