Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
