you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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