Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
