Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
