if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize