maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
