I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
