This is not my ceiling
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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