shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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