there's paper in my vomit.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
