guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
