Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
