I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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