that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
