last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
