Are we in a gay sports bar?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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