i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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