she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
