I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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