That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
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Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
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Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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