If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I love you. Go after that dick
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
