oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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