how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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