im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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