i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
