Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
