i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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