Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
