youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You work out of a Hotel?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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