he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Do vagina's smell?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
