he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
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i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
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I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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