Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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