she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
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A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
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Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles