Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.

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  (770): I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair. http://tfl.nu/2vto
  Replies (1) Good night (1194) Bad night (571)
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  (707): View more from California

  Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.

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  (707): Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo. http://tfl.nu/dtd1
  Replies (22) Good night (1237) Bad night (5349)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...

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  (717): I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners... http://tfl.nu/4h9y
  Replies (40) Good night (3662) Bad night (1104)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.

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  (479): I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics. http://tfl.nu/bo11
  Replies (7) Good night (4022) Bad night (830)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.

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  (517): Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever. http://tfl.nu/mubr
  Replies (10) Good night (5390) Bad night (762)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?

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  (917): Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night? http://tfl.nu/29mg
  Replies (11) Good night (3747) Bad night (1319)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Internet Is back!

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.

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  (860): CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS. (508): Internet Is back! (860): MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS. http://tfl.nu/a6kg
  Replies (7) Good night (849) Bad night (1136)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.

  (648): View more from

  100%

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  (616): I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners. (648): 100% http://tfl.nu/zuxh
  Replies (9) Good night (530) Bad night (2322)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.

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  (425): I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help. (1-425): I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity. http://tfl.nu/3ise
  Replies (4) Good night (1495) Bad night (595)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity

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  (423): Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity http://tfl.nu/dliq
  Replies (2) Good night (812) Bad night (638)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time

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  (816): Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time http://tfl.nu/d70u
  Replies (8) Good night (1264) Bad night (408)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.

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  (206): I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family. http://tfl.nu/468g
  Replies (1) Good night (1366) Bad night (321)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.

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  (516): Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet. http://tfl.nu/uizc
  Replies (16) Good night (2839) Bad night (429)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet

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  (321): He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet http://tfl.nu/nzlh
  Replies (3) Good night (667) Bad night (461)
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  (510): View more from California

  Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.

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  (510): Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves. http://tfl.nu/hxwa
  Replies (2) Good night (519) Bad night (149)

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