I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.