Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.

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(330): Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper. http://tfl.nu/vs2k

Replies (12) Good night (862) Bad night (3223)
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(847): View more from Illinois

My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

How unfortunate for your Mom.

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(847): My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein. (1-847): How unfortunate for your Mom. http://tfl.nu/e7p2

Replies (33) Good night (820) Bad night (3827)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.

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(404): Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that. http://tfl.nu/0caw

Replies (13) Good night (1215) Bad night (4920)
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(847): View more from Illinois

just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.

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(847): just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this. http://tfl.nu/dz42

Replies (30) Good night (5301) Bad night (1587)
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(425): View more from Washington

Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.

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(425): Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange. http://tfl.nu/6ccw

Replies (19) Good night (1416) Bad night (5640)
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(314): View more from Missouri

just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle

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(314): just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle http://tfl.nu/572m

Replies (9) Good night (5260) Bad night (907)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?

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(847): Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine? http://tfl.nu/wblw

Replies (39) Good night (4204) Bad night (1910)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy

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(609): Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy http://tfl.nu/d1ob

Replies (7) Good night (1958) Bad night (857)
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(303): View more from Colorado

im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels

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(303): im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels http://tfl.nu/5yvq

Replies (4) Good night (1960) Bad night (720)
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(954): View more from Florida

stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us

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(954): stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us http://tfl.nu/1h6z

Replies (3) Good night (2060) Bad night (641)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?

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(412): Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony? http://tfl.nu/xq89

Replies (4) Good night (830) Bad night (433)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame

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(303): Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame http://tfl.nu/4ytk

Replies (2) Good night (761) Bad night (419)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.

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(864): I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population. http://tfl.nu/aqkb

Replies (3) Good night (541) Bad night (334)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.

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(479): Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing. http://tfl.nu/uted

Replies (2) Good night (1142) Bad night (382)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".

(908): View more from New Jersey

That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.

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(973): You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch". (908): That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch. http://tfl.nu/oi97

Replies (2) Good night (798) Bad night (421)

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