so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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