jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
