I accidentally had phone sex last night
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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