She said her name was "party"
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
