very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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