maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
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The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
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Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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