dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
