Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
