he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize