btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
