Can Purell be used as lube?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
