what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
