he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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