So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
