She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
