you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
