I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
