just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize