I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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