see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
