It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
