Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
